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This question can be expanded into three parts: Why do they do it, why does it hurt you, and what can you do about it?
1. Why do people do mean things to you?
They are off-loading their own fears onto another object, you. Projecting. Trying to elevate themselves by pushing you down. It’s that simple. Sometimes it comes from the simplistic thinking from living now in past trauma and is meant to protect themselves, even when there is no present danger. Mostly it’s an inability or unwillingness to live in the present moment open to new experiences and new learning, which takes a little work. So much easier to put people into preconceived boxes as a way to keep order in their world. We are all great at sorting and organizing. But what happens when you are sorting socks and suddenly you have something that reminds you of a sock, like a legging, but that’s different? Those are the people who just put it in the sock drawer to avoid thinking. My hope is that recognizing this, you won’t fall into that same trap with other people who trigger you.
2. Why does it get to you?
It hurts when people are mean to us because our basic human needs for love and safety are not being met. Maybe our self-doubts and insecurities are being reinforced. If our needs are not being met by the people who are hurting you, it’s time to look elsewhere to…
