I have a rule: I never hit “like” or “♥️” for selfies.
Now, I do make exceptions for pictures of dogs that happen to have their human in them. Or pictures someone posts in a goofy hat, etc. But not kissy-face glamour shots. No “look at how hot my body is” shots. First of all, doesn’t your mother see your posts? Gross! Second of all, what would I be hitting like for, exactly, your ability to use a simple beauty app? Because that image of a freckle-free, thin-faced enlarged eyes and mouth cartoon with expanded boobs and butt is not you.
To make my rule, well, a rule, I also don’t hit “like” on selfies that slide in under the “body positive” monogram. Or selfies showing off your latest swimsuit. Otherwise, where would I draw the line? I don’t know what you want from posting. If you are female-identifying, I refuse to be one of 7,000 men hitting “like” in the hope that it will somehow translate to sex. I also refuse to reinforce the cultural norm that women are valued primarily for their looks. That’s why I don’t hit “like” on the body positive posts either, since I’m not gonna say, “Yeah — I’m cool. I think you’re sexy even with something about you that’s not mainstream beautiful.”
Maybe part of what triggers me is that I had to grow out of the practice of beautifying my own selfies. As I aged, I would blend out wrinkles and grey hair in post-production. But whom was I trying to impress? Or, more accurately, whom was I trying to fool?
Now, I know it’s natural for mammals to want to strut their stuff to attract mates. And, I recognize this as the modern, digital equivalent, even when people claim that their expressions of self-beauty are only for themselves and they are not trying to get anyone attracted to them. Yeah.. right. If that were the case, then why post the pics at all to zillions of friends and strangers?
Thinking back on how I started refusing to hit “like” on selfies, I have to admit it was just because I found the popular selfie aesthetic to be comically hideous. Perfectly attractive people were distorting themselves to become cartoon versions of characters from Zoolander. I also didn’t want to hit “like” on an allegedly sexy pic of a young female co-worker… creepy!
But, I immediately moved on to the position that I just didn’t want to encourage that part of our culture which appears to me to be desperate, pointless, artless and stupid.
So, if you are a friend or a facebook “friend” who posts their hottest most hot hotty pic and I seem to have ignored it, I assure you that it doesn’t mean I think you wouldn’t make an attractive mate for procreation. It just means that I’d rather see a picture of you with your dog.
