I am cured of my OCD. And yet …
Recently, it seems like nearly every day something happens to trigger my old OCD rituals and I find my self giving into them before I know it. Everyone’s triggers may be different. In my case, if somebody does something rude — spits in public, grabs their crotch, needlessly honks their car horn, etc. — it can, and it used to always, trigger an elaborate mental ritual.
Years ago, when my OCD was all-encompassing, I learned that stopping in the middle of a ritual was nearly impossible for me. What is possible is preventing the OCD reaction by setting an intention, in advance of the trigger, to be free of OCD.
And that’s where I have been falling short. With my near-complete freedom from symptoms, I became complacent and let my intention setting lapse. I will reincorporate that intention setting into my morning routine. One of the first things I do every morning is focus on my gratitude for all the positive things that happened the day before and all of the positive things that I want to happen in the new day. I express gratitude from my health and wellness, for my family and friends, for my safety and freedom, for that lunch with my father, that improv. dance class I’m going to attend … and somewhere in the mix the intent to have a day free of OCD should be put back in. I can close my eyes for concentration…
