If you are struggling with unwanted addictive behavior while also suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder, you may find the mix particularly aggravating. The combination of OCD with addiction to pornography, for example, can be powerful. I think of the OCD as similar to a comorbidity: it just makes the addiction more difficult to get control over.
Some people with OCD feel compelled to think, say or do things they find unpleasant or even revolting. You can hate pornography but be compelled to look at it. And the OCD can mean that you feel a need to look at the same images, which you may find repugnant, over and over again. The pornography itself is flooding your brain with dopamine, which acts as a chemical reward, and the addition of obsessive-compulsive thoughts and repetitive actions can get you stuck in a spiral that’s very hard to extract yourself from.
You may also have the mistaken belief that OCD itself can magically remove the pornography addiction. You may think, If I just look at this picture three more times, or think these specific thoughts, I’ll be cured. At that point you are essentially perceiving your OCD as your master, praying for the very thing that is keeping you trapped to free you. The OCD has taken over your ego, and you need to remove your sense of self from it. That is, you have to let your ego die, just a bit…
