Hi Brisa. Thanks so much for finding my story and sharing yours with me. Similar to your grandmother, when I was a kid, I thought that I didn't do my OCD right and that's why my dog died. If you'd like to write to me, I can share what I've done in more detail to get over OCD, and at the very least I can listen and relate to you. The good news is that you can survive and thrive with OCD - I had a successful career and family despite wasting so much of my time doing rituals. My email is ocdfree@comcast.net. I know that traditional religions really don't want followers to practice any rival kind of spirituality. I think that the details of what you do aren't as important as the mindset you develop. So, for example, I was open to all sorts of alternative spirituality stuff but I think you can achieve the exact same results through surrendering to God as you know him. I write about surrender sometimes in my blog and plan to write more about that. I also have a video channel. Here's a video that you might find useful on OCD and reading: https://youtu.be/IPDAcu4dvHg