We use OCD as an irrational attempt to protect us from suffering. Suffering comes from fear. The fear that things will go wrong. The fear that your past will “catch up with you.” The fear that people will disapprove of you, leave you, hate you. All of these fears are essentially the fear of your basic needs not being met. What are your basic needs?
Survival (food, shelter, health)
Love (success, approval, acceptance, belonging, connection)
Happiness (meaning, autonomy, competence)
None of the obsessive-compulsive repetitive thoughts or actions I engage in will have any effect on me getting these needs met. That doesn’t mean that nothing you think has any effect on your reality. In fact, your thoughts, feelings and attitudes are extremely powerful in shaping your experiences in life.
You can prove this to yourself with a simple experiment. Spend an entire day noting everything positive you sense (see, hear, smell, feel or taste). Write down a list: that woman just held the door open for the next customer; my friend called me to see how I was doing; these flowers smell wonderful. For one day, keep track of every act of loving-kindness and every pleasant smell, sight or sound, no matter how small, with the intent of reviewing the list at the end of the day. Does this affect your experience during the day–how sad…
