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I see my life as a journey toward freedom: physical, psychological, emotional, financial and spiritual freedom. I have achieved freedom from OCD, which weighed me down for 50 years. But there are other things I must pull myself free from. One of the most difficult encumbrances holding me back is the challenge of forgiveness.
I can’t move forward until I forgive myself for all the ways I have come up short in my life. Without self-forgiveness, my spirit is stuck in the past instead of open to the present and the future. It’s as if I want to drive forward but I sent all my car’s gasoline through a time machine into the past, and now I am stuck in a vehicle without fuel.
If you do not forgive yourself, how will you feel worthy to move forward and succeed in life?
Once I achieve self-forgiveness, I will have the mental and emotional capacity to forgive others; I will not project self-hatred onto people who remind me of my shortcomings. And forgiving others is key: they are like grappling hooks stuck into you and anchoring you to the past. Think of trying to rise up in a hot air balloon while people who have done you wrong are on the ground holding onto ropes and not letting you fly.
One practical technique to forgive people, and to let go of your resentment and anger towards them, is a loving-kindness meditation, based on the Buddhist mettā meditation. You simply wish yourself, loved ones, strangers, people you are in conflict with, and life in general happiness and freedom from suffering. Over time, this practice will free you from the power that the cruelty of others has over you. Forgiveness will set you free.
Suggested practice:
In a quiet space, sit straight up and close your eyes.
Think, May I be free of suffering. May I be healthy. May I be happy. May I be filled with peace and Joy. Imagine giving yourself a comforting hug.
Picture a loved one and think, May [that person] be free of suffering. May [that person] be healthy. May [that person] be happy. May [that person] be filled with peace and Joy. Imagine giving [that person] a comforting hug.
Picture someone you don’t know but had a casual encounter with. Think, May [that person] be free of suffering. May [that person] be healthy. May [that person] be happy. May [that person] be filled with peace and Joy. Imagine giving [that person] a comforting hug.
Picture someone whom you find it difficult to forgive. Think, May [that person] be free of suffering. May [that person] be healthy. May [that person] be happy. May [that person] be filled with peace and Joy. Imagine giving [that person] a comforting hug.
Picture all life — all plants, animals, people, beings who may exist on other planets — Think, May all beings be free of suffering. May all beings be healthy. May all beings be happy. May all beings be filled with peace and Joy. Imagine giving all beings a comforting hug.
